But seriously. A lot.
Due to a series of very unfortunate events that I can’t really discuss because I’ll cry again, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my city during a layover. It sucked.
When I left Cagliari this morning, I was looking out the window as we flew towards the mainland of Italy, and I was overcome by this ridiculous urge to hug the whole country. Like somehow become big enough to actually wrap my arms all the way around and under the whole peninsula, heart strategically placed over Roma. That’s where it always is anyway, duh. I even wanted to hug my cab driver. Poor man, it was 6 am and I probably would have terrified him. “Who is this sobbing, blubbering mess telling me she loves me?!” I opted instead for the most charming smile I could muster and told him to have a lovely day.
I’ve just wanted to hug everyone I’ve seen lately, actually. I don’t know how else to thank everyone I’ve come in contact with—friends, airport workers, professors, pizza men, neighbors, strangers, people with whom I had one conversation and never saw again—for making this the best year of my life. Of course I don’t want it to end. Of course I want to stay. It breaks my heart to leave, and I mean that. It aches. It’s been a year without a single regret, a lot of laughter, and more love and light than I can ever possibly repay. But I’m for damn sure going to try to pay it forward.
Without fail, at the start of every trip (whether to Target or across the country), my dad says, “And we’re off on another adventure!” followed nine times out of ten by some seriously awkward dance moves than I unfortunately inherited. When I was little, I always got so excited hearing this because I loved (and still love) adventures with my dad. When I was in my emo/teenage angst phase (yeah, that happened, let’s move on) it annoyed me to no end because my dad was just sooooooo uncool. Now, it doesn’t feel like we’ve actually started unless he says it. I’ve done a lot of moping and a lot of crying (my apologies to the poor people on Poetto Beach and all wait staff in Cagliari) but as was pointed out to me, that helps absolutely nothing and no one. Me least of all. So instead of seeing this as a horrible end, I’m going to work on seeing it as a beautiful time in my life that’s just followed by my endeavor into another adventure.